“4 scores is pretty good, just ask Abraham Lincoln”
hahahahaha just when I thought the audio with the NCAA Football series was getting bland, Lee Corso drops this bomb on me. But this bomb was not as big as the one dropped on El Paso by two ex-915ers.
Thousands of illegal Mexican immigrants crossed the border, but instead of crossing for low paying jobs and false hope, they came for football. The Crimson Tide season opener in El Paso was a huge event in celebration of Hispanic football star Seth Sanchez. 
Dubbed “El Siesta de la Sanchez” the atmosphere rivaled that of a lightweight prize fight with various hispanic celebrities, crime bosses, Nicole Ritchie and a sober Lindsay Lohan in attendance. The Guia del Migrante Mexicano was distributed by one of Sanchez’s charities to help fans attend the game.
SO QB Marcus Minor of Fort Bliss would throw for 4 TDs in his Crimson Tide debut, while Socorro’s son, Seth Sanchez would add in 4 on the ground, prompting the above Corso quote. However things started out sloppy for the Tide in their season opener with UTEP leading 28-14 at the half. Still hungover from the previous night’s Sanchez Siesta festivites, coach Joe Namath asked one of his assistants to come up with a remedy for his team’s performance. The only bright spot was an INT by true freshman Trevor Gibson. A cure was concocted and the Tide were off and running in the second half. Sanchez in his first year as an “impact player” was impossible to tackle. While Marcus Minor looked like a SR running the Melting Pot Offence(a mix of USC, Texas, Florida & WVU’s playbooks). The momentum meter is everything in this game as Alabama scored 42 points in the 2nd half, while UTEP was shutout. Biggest suprise came from SO TE Lucas Campbell. Lucas was converted from WR to TE because of depth issues and an early injury to Los Angeles playboy Trevor Young allowed him to step into the spotlight. Campbell appears to be Minor’s favorite target as he ended up with the ball in the end zone 3 times.
#2 Alabama wins 56-28
At the end of the game instead of tearing down the goalposts, Sanchez’s fans instead choose to tear down the fences at Juarez. Riots ensued. To calme people down Sanchez got on a cheerleader’s megaphone and yelled “Dejaste los Andes por el cemento y los swimming pools” To which people responded “Mexicano, no Andean” But the riots stopped and a statue was immediately errected in Seth’s honor. The villagers celebrated throughout the night. Up next, home opener in Tuscaloosa against Ole Miss.
Key Stats:
- Minor 18-23 253 yards 4 Tds 1 INT
- Sanchez 156 yards 4 TDs
- Campbell 3-31-3 (ball was spread out)
- SS Chrisitan (chris, not lander) 6 tackles; most of which prevented a 1st down
making a run for the border
